Adventures in Living

If you had asked me 5+ years ago, where we’d be now I would have thought we’d still be in our same life, doing those same “normal” life things.  Grinding every day, living in close proximity to family and friends and just moving along in life.  But 2017 started differently after 15 years together we got married!  From there we were just doing life but then we hit a little rough patch with the unfortunate passing of my mother in 2019 and my mother-in-law in 2020.  Those events really spearheaded the decision to relocate.  It wasn’t easy for me at first to wrap my head around that as much as my husband.  He’s way more easily adaptable in all situations.  I’m so much a creature of habit, like my mother, and having lived in the bay our whole lives that thought seems daunting in some respects but interesting as well. 

The location we chose was to fulfill his dream of living by the beach.  He’d moved in at my mom’s willingly and was a saint for taking her to run errands, whatever that may be, without complaint, so we embarked on the journey to make his dreams a reality. 

Through that process I’ve learned there are times in life that love can turn your world upside down.  It can sometimes feel like you can’t touch the ground but having a supportive partner is such a treasure.  The pull that you get to be by their side no matter the road you are on can help you learn that even the bumpy roads you can take in stride.

Even when your journey takes you from your comforts and all that you know, and you must rely on your instincts, trust your love, use your ingenuity and know how that you haven’t had to use in a very long time. 

Was it all easy, not a chance, was it all hard, not even, but was it worth it, ABSOLUTELY.  Knowing I’ve given a little back to someone who gave me more than he ever could imagine by just being kind and supportive makes all the difference in the world. 

The moral is take that chance.  Don’t doubt that you can do whatever it is.  Will it be scary, maybe, will you have setbacks, possibly, but will you have adventures you’ve only dreamed of for sure. 

 

What do you think of when you hear the word commitment?  Do thoughts of your loved one’s pop into your head?  Maybe you think of your professional career or the efforts of others?  My thoughts encompassed all of the above .

RELATIONSHIPS:  Commitment in a relationship is as key as communication for example.  Just the simple act of keeping your word to someone that you are in a relationship with is commitment on some level.  It could mean something as deep as commitment to your marriage vows or as simple as being committed to taking out the trash.  When you communicate something to a person you are involved with you are giving them a commitment of an intent based upon your words.  It’s amazing how when the right person comes into your life how all of that seems so easy to do.

WORK:         In work are you that diehard employee that works from dawn to dusk, and willing to come in at a moment’s notice to get the job done, if so, you are committed or some would say you should be committed.  Too much work can cause sacrifices in relationships because the commitments we have made at home aren’t always being met when we overwork.  On the other hand, if there is a common goal, let’s say to pay off your bills, put enough away for the kids’ college education or that dream vacation then working more than usual is for the common good.  It’s a balancing act.  Keeping that balance is harder than it seems.

SELF: Maybe we need to try and be more committed to ourselves to care for our own wellbeing.  Being kind to ourselves, giving ourselves permission to get pampered, buy that top that made you feel good, or meditating for 10 minutes in the morning before we hit the ground running.

HONOR:       Commitment to family is something that I hold near and dear to my heart.  Making a commitment to make others well-being a priority can be a commitment we give and may never receive in return but I assure you the enjoyment and peace of mind you get from caring (committing) in some way to those you love is a treasure you will not forget and a peace in your heart that cannot be taken away.  I had made a commitment to myself to be there for someone I held near and dear and though her journey on earth ended, the act of staying committed to her is something no one can take from me.

 

 

 

I was thinking about how we feel when we say we have so much chaos going on in our lives.  Chaos normally feels like something negative, but for me chaos makes me feel like all the moments of life’s adventures are about to collide.  Yes they can include bad but if we concentrate on all the positive things chaos can bring it can help center us and keep us more in the here and now.

Chaos kicks those endorphin’s into overdrive and we kind of get a two for one.  We get a super rush which makes our heartbeat a bit more, like when we see the person that makes our heart sing, but because our heart is beating faster this also allows you to burn some calories.  Come on who doesn’t want to burn extra calories.  I know I do.

Chaos can also trigger change.  Change can be scary, I know it’s not always something I gravitate to, I’m more of a let’s keep things simple kind of girl, but I’ve learned over the years from being with my husband that our life is full of chaos and it’s mostly that good chaos, as in having too many things to choose from in the way of adventures but with a strong partner by your side, the yin to your yang you can learn to embrace chaos just as much as I have.  Knowing I have person by my side to share life’s amazing moments and life’s challenges chaos can be managed.

Go out and when you’ve come across some chaos, dive right in, take control of it and you will be happy you made it through to the other side.

This is a poem I wrote today, the 2nd anniversary of my sister’s passing.

I opened up my eyes last night and felt some raindrops falling,
I had been dreaming that I saw you,
I dreamt that you looked happy. 
I noticed you were walking and had a smile from ear to ear,
You said you were happy to see me and you said to have no fear.
You told me God had made your body whole,
You told me you missed us dearly but that you had to go.
I sat up to see you leaving but still the raindrops fell, 
I realized those raindrops were nothing more than teardrops coming from my eyes,
I was dreaming of you happy and that made me feel very warm inside.

          Why do some of us spend so much time worrying about what others think.  We worry about being good enough, smart enough, put together enough, accomplished enough.  Just plain old enough. 

GOOD ENOUGH

          What does that even mean?  Good enough for who and why do we have the need or desire to focus on that?  When we were kids we accomplished so much stuff that our little heads spun.  We learned to walk, talk, read, and a litany of other things.  Didn’t we think we were good enough then?  So why are those accomplishments not important to us anymore, when they should be.  Yes, we can always be better or learn more or have an expectation for ourselves to drive us to do more but really think back to the school days and remember you were enough. 

SMART ENOUGH

          Smart by the standards of whom?  Society, our peers, industry?  You can be book smart and that’s all fine and well but book smarts can only take you so far.  Street smarts now that’s a smart that is worth having.  It’s the one that tells you not to cross in the middle of the block, not to walk down that dark alley at night, or to lend your favorite sweater to your friend, who up and moves without returning it.  Gosh I loved the sweater.  Learn from your mistakes people and that alone will make you smart enough. 

PUT TOGETHER ENOUGH

          What standard are we using when we look in the mirror?  This one is always a subject of contention. 

          Because who hasn’t looked in the mirror and noticed a blemish forming and you think ugh why did it have to happen today.  The day of your first date, that job interview, or lunch with the girls, you know the ones who talk so much smack about people you think to yourself why do I put myself through this and how are we even friends. 

          Society tell us to be happy in your own skin, yet at times the images we see can help foster those insecurities.  It’s always such mixed messages.  So much so I think I’m getting a migraine from it.  I personally think being happy with our physical self is easier said than done and I too am trying to learn how to do so. 

          For me personally, I tell myself why can’t I see all the beautiful qualities my husband sees in me.  What is it that makes me hear the words “baby your gorgeous” day in and day out and yet when I view myself I see the blemish.  My goal is to quit investing so much time and energy thinking negatively about all those little quirks that help make up who I am. 

          Wouldn’t it be great if we could all just take a step back and remember what we see as an imperfection, perhaps others may not even notice?  Perspective people. 

          When it comes to physical well-being that too has its ups and downs.  I mean the top of my left pinky toe now that’s the spot I’m starting with, skin is nice, no extra flab, at least that’s a start.  I highly recommend you find a starting point and build from there. 

          Some of it is our own insecurities of believing everyone is just focused on our outside packaging but maybe they are just enjoying the true person we are on the inside and we have again sabotaged our self by not accepting that invitation to dinner or a movie because we feel nobody can love all the things we find as imperfections.  Because telling yourself once I lose X amount of weight, or once I do (fill in the blank) I will go out on that date.  But just don’t forget that life is passing you by while you are stressing on being the perfect size or shape.

          And even more importantly when you find that someone who gets you they are usually oblivious to those things we worry so much about.

ACCOMPLISHED ENOUGH

          When I think of the statement accomplished enough, I immediately think of my sons and how having children was the one thing in life I truly wanted to do.  So, for me, I’ve accomplished the goal I set out to do.  From there my life has blossomed into much more.  So, for each of us, the word accomplished means something different. 

          Not all of us are good enough to win a Gold Medal in the Olympics but have you seen the story of a father and son team who do marathons? The son has cerebral palsy and he wanted to start doing marathons so his father started running to help his son on the journey of his son’s life.  What an accomplishment.  This shows me that inspiration in one’s self and desire can always make us good enough. 

          I challenge each of you to find something that can be a source of pride as an accomplishment.  It could be just getting through the grocery store without filling your basket with a lot of extras.  Letting that annoying car in front of you even if you didn’t have to.  Taking the stairs.  Holding open a door.  Accepting a compliment for what it is. 

ENOUGH

          I really encourage all of you to take a step back and look in the mirror every now and again and tell yourself “YES I am enough.”  I’m good enough, smart enough, physically enough, and accomplished enough. 

          I don’t have all the answers.  If you have I’d love for you to share your secrets and if I figure it out of course I’ll share mine.

          I can honestly say I myself am a work in progress and it’s okay if you are too. 

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